Letter To A Mom With Homeschool Doubts

Recently a mom who is joining my local homeschool group and pulling her kids out of "school" wrote about her second-guessing her decision, because of feelings of doubt .

This is a letter to her. (Edited a bit)

She wrote back that it helped, so I hope it might help others.

Dear Friend,

These feelings of remorse are feelings I am sure all homeschoolers have had at one point or another. Doubt is a demon of homeschooling, a true sign of it's goodness are the attacks against it. Often when we embark on a new journey, that we feel led to by God, we notice sudden obstacles popping up to deter our commitment.

I remember a day like yours. It too was at our final commencement ceremonies at our local Catholic school. As I was videoing the sweet singing voices, I was remorseful, nostalgic and had trepidations about my decision. There was good in that environment...we just wanted better.

You know what you're letting go of, friend....you just don't know yet what you're about to meet.
And it will be better. Homeschooling is the best, you eliminate so much pollution. And you can add so much more of your Catholic faith into your day. I don't know if I heard/read it from Father Hardon or Father Corapi or when Dr. Mary Kay Clark of Seton went to the Vatican  but there is this quote that came out that Catholic Homeschooling is seen as the work of the Holy Spirit to renew the faith!!
Today was just one of those days to illustrate some of homeschoolings sweetness to me. Running errands with my oldest son, him talking to me in the car and us laughing like pals, he reminded me that most other teens don't even talk to their parents...they have their ears plugged with an Ipod and glazed over eyes. Later we all had dinner on the deck, celebrated our school year, went around the table talking about it, each student and their accomplishments... it fills my husband and I with such confirmation, moments like these. There have been many others. Our kids like being together ...with us...as a family. No one is looking to duck out and be elsewhere. There is a palpable feeling of connectedness and shared family identity. Have you read Hold On To Your Kids:Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers?

Parents need to sometimes make hard decisions that our kids won't always like or appreciate...at first. My oldest didn't know when he left 5th grade that he wouldn't be going back. It would have upset him, that's natural and it's natural for your daughter to be sad at this transition. She will adjust and, like my children, get involved with new friends in our homeschool group. Read a Haystack Full Of Needles.


Consider too the often devalued relationship of siblings. Sibling relationships are important to work on, I think they get neglected or brushed off as unimportant and yet they are the ones God chose you to be with from cradle to grave. I read recently about a woman who said she wanted homeschooling for her daughters for that very reason...because she remembers the way "school" taught her older sister to ignore her (the younger sister) and how they were never friends again. To add to the sibling dynamic we also found that homeschooling relieved the dynamic of many school-related stresses. Our family rush became more peaceful and our planning more flexible.
Yet, it isn't always going to be rosy and wonderful in homeschooling. You'll have to deal with issues face on that you could have otherwise handed over to some acquaintance/teacher... but who is ever going to love your children like you do?! Who always has their best interests at heart? That's your right and privilege and perhaps God's way to sanctify you. Hard things are often the MOST WORTHWHILE!

No one else is going to have the vested interest and the *accountability* to educate your kids for heaven, their ultimate goal....for heaven, not Harvard, as the saying goes.

A friend of mine who has been homeschooling longer than I told me about an encounter she had with Laura Berquist of MODG recently. Laura's words brought tears to my friend and to me, in her retelling. This friend (who doesn't even use MODG for her son) told Mrs. Berquist she wasn't sure she was giving her son enough and was considering putting her "good" and "sweet" boy back into the school system. Laura (with no business interest in this boy) spoke from her heart and squeezed her hand and said, "Don't! You tell me now that he is sweet and good and after a year in school you won't be able to say that anymore...in the same way."

The sacrifice to homeschool will be rewarded...we just live in a society that will spread doubt on self-sacrifice and the concept of losing ME time.

Did Jesus have ME time?


Wasn't He the Way, the Truth and the Life and didn't He say He came to serve, not be served.

Offer yourself in His name and He will not be outdone in generosity. Offer yourself like Mary and Joseph did to their child, Jesus. The Holy family is our model for family life. Ask for their intercession. I'll be praying along with you.

Be not afraid, friend!